Abby’s Bali journeys

This is the story of Nika Lisa, a Melbourne mum who travels to Bali several times a year with her physically and mentally disabled daughter Abby, in her own words...

Nika says...

“I’ve been to Bali 35 times. The first time was on my honeymoon in 2000. The second time was in 2003. After my children were born — I had three — we went many more times to Bali on holidays.

“But my life changed dramatically in 2019 when I lost my 20-year-old son to a liver disorder. He got sick and six days later, he passed away. Later that year, I became separated from and divorced my husband and was left alone with Abby, our daughter, who is physically and intellectually disabled and requires around-the-clock care.

“These misfortunes made me see that tomorrow isn’t promised, and that I had to start living the best possible life I could today. And that meant spending as much time as possible in Bali, because Bali is where I am happiest and where Abby is happiest, too. When we’re at home, she gets upset and angry over any old thing and drives me insane. But in Bali, there’s none of that. She’s so different here. She’s really happy.

“When we’re in Bali, we stay in (the beachside district of) Legian where we rent a villa with a pool that is fully wheelchair and disabled-friendly. We also have a full-time nanny who lives with us along with her nine-year-old daughter. The bond between her daughter and Abby is beautiful.

“The Balinese are incredible people. They have a lot of compassion and will do anything to help. Every afternoon, I take her to the beach for sunset, and if they see me struggling to cross the road with the wheelchair, people will literally stop their cars and jump out to help. When a friend built a restaurant in Legian, they added a ramp just for us.

“And when we go up north to Lovina on a break, taxi drivers help me lift Abby into the front and her wheelchair into the boot, and they never complain about how long it takes. When I took her on a boat in Lovina to watch the dolphins, the captain did the same thing. In Australia, when we meet people, sometimes they ignore Abby and just talk to me as if she wasn’t even there. But here in Bali they talk to her more than me! That’s why I made a Facebook page, Abby’s Bali Journey. It’s got more than 400 followers.

“What would I say to parents of children with disabilities who want to come to Bali but are worried about the logistics? I would say just come. People with disabilities benefit from holidays and travel in the same way that people without disabilities do. You might want to bring a nanny with you the first time so that you can have a holiday too. That’s a mistake I see many carers make. They work around the clock and never take a break. But if you do that in Bali, it’s not a real holiday, it’s just a change of scenery. Another option is to hire someone here. There are a lot of nannies in Bali, and quite a few of them have been trained to care for kids with some kind of disability.”