Finding the right balance for kids

School holidays have started a week early and it will be a break like none before, with families practising social distancing amid the COVID-19 crisis. Parenting expert and former Albany teacher Maggie Dent says parents should view this unprecedented situation as an opportunity to strengthen connections within their family. Many parents would be wondering how they are going to keep their children entertained at home. Some have already had them at home for days, if not weeks. Ms Dent has said many parents had reached out to her feeling worried — and she wanted them to know it was a natural response. “Every parent is worried right now and the anxiety you are feeling is being driven by situational and circumstantial distress caused by the coronavirus — and that is normal,” she said. “The coronavirus is global, nasty and life-threatening, so naturally the brain’s amygdala is triggered. “As many normal things in life are being changed, lost or cancelled suddenly and unexpectedly, we need to appreciate that this is our brain working as it is designed to work in order to ensure our survival.” She said it was important parents were safe leadership figures who their children could confide in during the pandemic. “Stressed brains do not learn well and so prioritise over the next few weeks, creating calmness, safety and predictability in your home,” she said. “Start with fun, lightness and play — for therapeutic purposes of course. “Screen time for entertainment may be longer than usual, and that will include you as parents. Lower the bar for a little while until everyone feels a little safer.” One of the key aims for parents would be finding a routine with the right balance. “The brain needs predictability so create routines that have a balance between active and passive activities,” she said. “Try to keep a balance that allows creativity and imagination to be as important as more academic pursuits. “Encourage marble competitions, hopping games, clapping games, plays and musical performances no matter how torturous they can sometimes be.” While reading books in a time of social distancing seems an obvious activity, she wanted to remind parents that “you can never read too much”. She said families should regularly get out in the fresh air, without breaking the rules. If the pandemic derailed their plans for an Easter camping trip, they could set up camp in their backyard instead. New family rituals could be created in the coming weeks — family stargazing nights, Teddy Bears’ picnics and make-your-own-pizza nights to name a few. There was also ample opportunity to teach children important life skills, such as cooking, organisational skills or how to fix things. While the usual school year can leave little time for parents to catch their breath, the COVID-19 crisis meant families could slow down. “As we’re being required to stay home, we have the chance to be more mindful. Go slow and practice more relaxation. “There are so many wonderful calming audios for kids, teens and adults that you now have time to do, either together or solo. “See this as an opportunity to strengthen connection in your family as to-do lists are shorter and there are fewer jobs to do like running kids to extra-curricular activities and organised sports.” Ms Dent said there was also a need for parents to find a balance in the way they framed the COVID-19 crisis. It was important for children to take it seriously and to know they could help to protect the community and the people they love. But they also needed to be reassured that it would not last for ever. “It is our responsibility to ensure our kids that even though they have a low chance of becoming sick, they have a big role in helping to stop the spread of the virus,” she said. “This empowers our kids to feel they can help, and immediately reduces the sense of anxiety in our kids and builds hope.”